Cookies & Expectations

Tonight Darryl and Jorden are on a Daddy Daughter Date! So me and the two little boys are making cookies! I love cookies, Choc. Chip are my favorite, and that's whats on the cookie menu tonight! I love making cookies. I am terrible at making them. My cookies never turn out how I envision them turning out and I am disappointed every time. This time is no exception! I mean the cookie dough, tasted perfect, maybe the best cookie dough ever.I was sure this time my cookies would come out looking like this:

I can't even tell you how much they did not turn out looking like that. I have NO idea what happened! I'm blaming it on the cookie trays or my baking soda! They look terrible, but taste Ok. Now what to do with an ugly batch of cookies!

There have been a few other things recently, that aren't turning out how I expect. For example:

The other day I had drs. appt scheduled for Uriah, written down in my planner. I arranged for a sitter for Jorden and Jonathan, dropped them off and headed for the drs. When I got there they informed me that his appt. wasn't until Thursday morning. Great, all the way to Strasburg and back. Okay, no big deal I'll just do a couple other errands that I need to get done. Pay the trash bill downtown, and return some library books. So downtown through the traffic to the police station to pay the bill. The drive through window is closed...arggg. Okay I'll pay it online when I get home. You've got to be kidding me a $2.00 convenience fee to pay the bill online. Not convenient at all. So I swing by the Library at 9:50am, and seriously they don't open until 10am. I felt like I spent my first 2 hours of the morning doing nothing! But then I realized after talking to a friend, that my first 2 hours weren't spent doing nothing, they were just spent differently then what I expected.

I feel like this is true in parenting right now too. The expectations I have of my self to be a perfect mom are ones that I can never live up to. So, I'm often, at the end of a day left feeling inadequate and like I've failed. I know that there are always ways to improve my parenting, but I'm not a failure! The Lord is in me and because of that I have all that I need to parent, my little loves, well! So raise a glass of milk to ugly cookies & to letting go of expectations.

P.S. Jonathan and I had a great time making the cookies, and that's what matters anyway!