Whoosh

Well, I've spent most of my day feeling sorry for myself and complaining. Been trying to get perspective all day. I don't know why its taken til 4pm to say this simple prayer...really more of a plea/cry for help, "God, I just don't know if I can do this right now!" And WHOOOSH in like a breath of fresh air a new sense of the Grace that is mine to take hold of! Suddenly, the request for an orange isn't heard as "mom get me an orange now, its your job to get me a snack" but instead "mom i want to eat healthy & i like oranges can you please get me one". The request to watch the same ballet move again suddenly sounds like "mom, do you think I'm a good dancer? aren't you proud of me?" Instead of "I'm bored and I want to bother you by asking you to watch the same twirl over and over again!" OKAY- I'm not proud of how I was acting-but I am thankful that My FATHER, heard my cry for help and responded! It was really more of a surrender, kind of like- I know I need to keep going, but I just feel like I'm on empty right now, Jesus please help me.

“I am only one, but I am one. I can't do everything, but I can do something. The something I ought to do, I can do. And by the grace of God, I will.” Edward Everett Hale

My Girl

I had the privilege of going on a field trip with Jorden's preschool this week to Oregon Dairy! I must say it was an interesting tour and fun time getting be with Jorden and her friends!

Me and My Girl

My Morning

My Morning: Started off waking up at 6:50am to a little cry for help from the third floor, "Somebody help me, I choked in my bed!" So off I go running upstairs...throw-up on the bed and two little boys wide awake. Not exactly how I like to start off my mornings, but sometimes you just have to roll with it! So downstairs we go, throw on a quick movie for them, while I compose myself! Jonathan seems to be fine not acting strange or complaining of belly pain, just relaxing watching a movie. At breakfast I asked him how his belly was feeling he said, "its hurting a little." "Okay, lets take a little break from the cereal." I'm really hoping I don't have to see this later! So all is going well. Reading books, getting dressed, playing in daddy & mommy's room. AND then ( and let me just add that this is conveniently 5mins after Darryl has left for school) all of the sudden puke everywhere, okay not everywhere, but all over Jonathan, Uriah who happened to be sitting at his feet when the fountain started flowing & my bedroom floor! GROSS! Jorden yelled, "Yuck!" and ran into her bedroom door shut behind her. This next part I'm a little ashamed to say, but I left Jon puking, grabbed Uriah and fled for the bathroom. I really didn't want Uriah ( who was as happy has could be) to get curious about the liquid that was spewed on him! I felt bad leaving Jon standing there, but it was just one of those moments where there wasn't enough of me to go around, so tried to grab the healthy one, before he became unhealthy! Although it was so gross, I wasn't stressed. It was almost funny, just kind of like, SERIOUSLY?! Did this just happen! Kinda like the time Jon picked up the little potty to take it out side and spilled the contents all down the front him! Thankful I wasn't here for that one! Anyway as I was cleaning up the multiple messes this morning the song by 10,000 maniacs kept going through my head, These Are The Days.

These are the days

These are days you’ll remember

Never before and never since, I promise

Will the whole world be warm as this

And as you feel it,

You’ll know it’s true

That you are blessed and lucky

It’s true that you

Are touched by something

That will grow and bloom in you

Happy Friday to you!

To School or Not to School ????

This decision is harder then I ever could have imagined. There are so many options for school and yet I feel so limited. Right now the options before us are: Private, Public, Dual Language & Homeschooling. We have mostly narrowed it down to Public or Homeschooling.

Both ideas can put me into a complex when I try to figure out what it will look like, how it will affect our family, Jorden, time, etc. Because BOTH will change our life a little. Maybe that's more of my aversion then anything...I like the way things have been plugging along. Not much has shaken this nest up recently, and not that this needs to either. When I keep my focus on theLord and trust in His heart for us...I'm okay. I'm OKAY...even if I'm crying right now while I type this out! His heart is so much more for us then I can comprehend. I just want to do the right/best thing for Jorden, and the rest of us! I know He knows that and I know He isn't as concerned about it as I am, yet he totally cares about my heart & Jorden's.

Really when I break down either option it's somewhat selfish. To homeschool would mean giving up more of my time, it would require work on my part to plan and engage. To send to school would mean someone else gets to spend more time with Jorden then I do. Maybe I'm regretting that I haven't better spent my time with Jorden and now it's time to send her to school. Yeah that could be it...here comes the tears again. Maybe it's all about letting go and trusting God that He is and will fill in my gaps & lacks.

I wish I had some grand ending to this post but I don't...just my process and its good and I'm thankful for it.

~kelley

My Family

Friendly's

The preschool that Jorden attends held a fundraiser night at Friendly's, a percentage of the sales went to the preschool. The kids had been asking when we could go out to eat at a restaurant. So we took the opportunity and headed out! Here are a few pictures from our fun evening out as a family! P.S. it was really fun to see Jorden excited about seeing her little friends from preschool too!

He Wants It All by Forever Jones

Get in touch with Easter!

"But now a righteousness from God, apart from law,

has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood."

- Romans 3:21-25

Darryl & I were talking yesterday, and I said, "I'm having a hard time getting the Lord's heart right now." To which he replied, " Yeah, we need to get in touch with Easter!" We chuckled a little, but more of a nervous, that hit the nail on the head, kind of chuckle. So that was late last night. With determination of getting the Lord's heart, I got out of bed this morning around 6:15. Lets just say that by 7, I had successfully written out all my complaints, groans & moans...not only did I feel terrible because all I was focused on was negative things, but I also felt like I complete failed my task of getting the Lord's heart. I said to myself & to the Lord, "why can't I ever get it right?" Here I had 45 mins of uninterrupted time and I had completely wasted it in pity. So I turned to the Word (should have started there, I confess, sometimes, too often I underestimate its power). Romans, I can only say the Lord directed me there. Roman 3:21-25 and read the above scriptures...HELLO EASTER! It was such a relief to realize AGAIN that my own righteousness will NEVER be enough! It is a righteousness from God through faith in what my Jesus did on the Cross...spilt his blood & died (that's way simplifying the emotion that he felt in the midst of it). I mean at this point I can't even remember what I was complaining, moaning & groaning about. My heart cries out to know this deeper & deeper. So that I don't get caught up in the complaining, moaning & groaning. These scriptures also, called me out in my judgements of others. Ouch. That is a hard thing to swallow, all have sinned, yeah I would be a part of the ALL as much as the people who get released from the prison across the street, and yet somehow I think I'm so much better. God help me to walk in humility & love. I don't really have a good way of wrapping this up! I felt so challenged and loved all at the same time. Thankful for a father who helps me grow and is LOVE. Thankful, for what took place on the Cross & that the power of what happened on the Cross is still felt today.

This Kid

One Year & One Month ago this sweet baby boy joined our family! He has been a joy & delight!

Happy belated birthday Uriah Mark Vaughn! We love you!

A little late, better then never?

Darryl doesn't like when I try to play catch up on the blog. Honestly I don't like it so much either, but I just haven't made it a priority recently. I'm not going to do to much catch up, but maybe just a few really special things like this....our valentines getaway!

We stole away without the kids the weekend after valentines to the city of brotherly love...PHILADELPHIA~ We had been maybe a couple of times before but usually ended up driving around looking for parking that wasn't out of this world expensive. So this time we planned it out a bit more!

We packed up the kids and took them to Pa Pa & Ma Maw's house for the weekend on friday night and then headed home to a quiet house! We talked and relaxed together, enjoyed a night off of bedtime routine :) Saturday morning, we packed up and swung by psc for some breakfast on the go! Off to Philly! We had a reservation at the art museum to see Van Gogh at 2. Sure glad we left early...traffic into philly. BACKUP! We made it though and had a little extra time to spare to walk boathouse row, only ever saw it from a distance so it was fun to walk the path and see the houses up close. Onto Van Gogh...AWESOME! The show was called UP CLOSE.

So it was alot of nature paintings he did that focused on the detail of nature. It was really interesting and we had a great time. Got a great dinner at the Elephant & Castle, then headed for the hotel! I love staying at hotels :) Our room had a nice comfy couch, so we snuggled up and watched...are you ready for it....WILD HOGS! Funny choice, I know, but it was on tv and we just cracked up! What fun to laugh so much together! The next morning, we went to Reading Terminal Market. SO FUN! Had to get a cheese steak to top it off! Then quick round trip around the historic district, drive by of Penns Landing and back home! We had a great time reconnecting, exploring some new things together, laughing & talking! Here are a few pictures to wrap up!

At the art museum...looking up

Elephant & Castle drinks & dinner

Reading Terminal Market